We are completely and utterly obsessed by this.
Evolution has created this mindset. Our brains simply haven’t evolved from caveman times. If we couldn’t deliver food, if we couldn’t seek shelter and produce for our tribe, we were just taking up space and and would be killed off. This mindset and fear hasn’t evolved in humans. And now; we just become scared of what people ‘might’ think and what they ‘might’ say about us.
So how do you overcome it?
I’m going to introduce you to a technique which is pretty surreal to think about it. It will BLOW YOUR MIND. This is the technique utilised by the ancient Japanese samurais of the Edo period (1600’s). If they were to fear injury or death, they could count themselves already dead. This process would slice through their ego when they went into battle that the only belief they ever had was the will to win. They weren’t scared of death but fearless in combat. The mind and your will is 50 times stronger than any muscle and any element on the periodic table. History is littered with stories of unexplained strength in times of need. In 2017, a 19 yr old girl in Washington lifted a 1.2 tonne truck to free her father pinned underneath it. The surge in her mind and her will to do this went into overdrive.
This process will help you to become completely fearless and not care what people think. The energy surge you will gain at the end of this exercise will blow your mind. So stick with me through this – the rewards are HUGE and it will completely eliminate your ego.
Imagine death for you. Visualise your funeral and the grief of your friends and family. Look at the people saying goodbye to you. Visualise the anguish on their faces and the difficulty of this day for many.It doesn’t matter where it is or what caused this but just watch it unfold. How do they feel? How painful this must be for them..
Consider a week later. Be a spirit over your friends and your family as they get back to their lives. Their work, their own families, their own stresses and problems. Look at how they get on with life and what it means to them. How many are still thinking about you? How many have forgotten?
Now consider life 3 months later for your friends and family… How many remember you? Who’s still thinking about you every single day? Your partner? Your friends? Who is still mourning every day? Every week?
Come back to today. How significant were you? How many people truly remembered you? What legacy did you leave? How impactful were you to your friends? Family? Peers? Remember the last time you watched the news and you saw that horrific accident where 3 people lost their lives? Or that child kidnapping and the anguish that mother must feel? You felt sad. You likely discussed it with your friends and your loved ones? But then 2 hours later you had moved on. Then, within 24 hours, the hippocampus in your brain recognises this as a memory taking up unnecessary space and goes through the process of eliminating it.
What philosophy am i trying to show you by taking you through this process? The simple fact that when you die, people will forget you a lot quicker than you probably hope.
Feel gratitude for being alive right now. Feel grateful that you don’t have to watch your mother and your friends mourn your passing. You are alive! So what value are you going to add to the world? What legacy are you going to leave! How will you remembered? How will you make a difference?
Don’t waste one second of the most valuable commodity we have wondering what people might be thinking or saying about you. Someone who tries to pull you down with their words or their thoughts is already far below you.
Live the life you love.